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Guide to Gnome Sex

Gnomes are typically very private creatures. This guide will teach you the ins and outs of gnome sex. 

Although major scientific breakthroughs regarding the inner mechanisms of gnome sex have been made, there is still a lot of mystery surrounding the subject. Scholarly gnomes like Professor Winklebottom (pictured left) keep extremely well documented but heavily guarded compendiums on the nature of gnome sex. Here is what we know so far.....

Step 1:

Collect underpants.

Step 3:


Known as the dick Macgyvers of the enchanted realm, gnomes enjoy turning everyday objects into sex toys. Being avid Gardners, their specialties involve incorporating vegetables.

Although they are revered for their dick-ingenuity, gnomes are not above a good old fashioned sex toy.

Beware the dildo thieving gnomes. 

Beard play is an essential part of gnome sex. 

Music is a must have at any good gnome orgy. But not just any music. Gnomes covet the accordion above all else. Known as the sexiest instrument in the gnome world, you would be hard pressed to find a gnome who didn't love zydeco. 

Although their business models are still unclear, it appears gnomes use a large portion of their underpants profit to fund their orgies and buy liquor. Gnomes love to party.

Gnome orgies are private events. Occasionally non-gnomes will try to sneak a peek at the festivities. 

They don't like that

Enter at your own risk

This has been your guide to gnome fucking.

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